Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure. (Wikipedia)
I have always liked to do a comparison of my grandparent’s love stories but I did not have enough information to do so. Now, it is safe to say I am ready for it and boy is it interesting. These are different lives brought together by love and it could not get more Nigerian than this.
I will have separate the stories into two; Alhaji and Alhaja & Emmanuel and Patricia.
Alhaji and Alhaja
I always thought since they came from the same Yoruba town, Omupo, they would have fallen in love then but that was not the case. When Alhaji was in his teens, he set off for Lagos to get a better life. He became an apprentice for one of the drug sellers on Lagos Island where he learned the trade.
Meanwhile, my grandma did not come to Lagos early because she had better plans for herself. She wanted to go to school. She went to live with one of her aunties who promised her that she would go to school.
When she arrived there, the promise was not fulfilled as she was staying at home and taking care of the house instead of going to school. Getting fed up with it, she ran away from the house and straight to Lagos.
In Lagos, she stayed with family members while she tried to learn commercial trade on Lagos Island.
It was there that they met and connected. She learned that he was betrothed to another in their town but his religion permits him to marry more than one wife.
It was settled and they went to meet her family. Her parents did not want the marriage and they stood against it.
After much fighting, she finally gave in to her parents and they did not marry.
Several months later, her parents asked her when she would bring a husband. She replied; “I have brought a husband, but you said I should not marry”.
They kept asking and she kept giving the same reply (talk about stubbornness!) until they finally gave in to her and they got married.
They have 4 beautiful children and my father is one of them.
Though Alhaja died in 2021, she was always called Alhaji’s one true love.
Emmanuel and Patricia
My grandma had a greater part of her life in Owerri town in eastern Nigeria. Her father was one of the notable warrant chiefs/kings in the town; The Onwanibe family.
She was the fairest of them all in her family and definitely her father’s favorite.
She had different suitors coming to her father all over Igbo land coming for her hand in marriage but she always refused.
It was so bad that her mother never ate any of the things they bring to introduce themselves to the family because she knew she had to return them.
There was a time when they made her follow a particular suitor who was a village teacher to his home. She already planned with one of her cousins, who came on his bicycle to pick her up. She jumped the fence the next morning and ran home.
Meanwhile, my grandfather grew up in another part of Imo state called Uzu-agba. He was a young hustler and soon he came to Lagos for a better life. He was privileged to have studied engineering and went to London to further his studies.
He came to Owerri town to visit his friend and to also put an eye down for a wife. He saw Pati in the market and asked his friend who that was. After getting enough information, he approached her and tried to woo her.
You know how easy it has always been to fall for Lagos boys and their English and mannerisms. She liked him back and told him to come and meet her parents.
Fortunately, her mom liked him as they were from the same village. She called him “Her son”.
She told me that what struck her about him was that he actually approached her. The other suitors did not try to get to know her but went straight to her father. They never approached her.
They got married and moved to Lagos where they had 6 beautiful children, my mom being one of them.
Personally, I liked the second story. Imagine having all the suitors in the world and knowing that they are not right for you. Most times, they tell me that if you meet the one, you will feel it and your actions too.
I hope these stories can help anyone believe in love; even if it is the love of self. I sensed that my grandmas knew their worth and they got what they wanted.
I loved it and I hope you loved it too. Which one is your fave?
